This episode features a brand-new theme song courtesy of friend-of-the-show Theme Song Todd.

It appears Amy suffers from “White Coat Hypertension”.

Perhaps we should be less trusting of these so-called doctors.

“Fancy Meeting You Here”.

A whole lot of people are getting chlamydia, for much more than a day.

Hyperemesis, like the Wu-Tang Clan, ain’t nuthing ta F’ wit.

Pizza checks remain relevant, and worth another look:

Photograph courtesy A. Gruber.

All of the security and none of the headaches of owning a real dog.

“Shake & Fold” to save the planet.

Hilarious potheads using baby food jars for urine storage.

This episode features the musical stylings of friend-of-the-show Theme Song Todd.

Watch Barry Manilow sing his jingles. It is truly terrible television!

When Weezer covered Barry Manilow’s State Farm jingle, however, it was great!

Amy’s awkward interaction with Rivers Cuomo was covered in Episode #2, “Pete Rose’s Underpants”.

They Might Be Giants, along with John Hodgman, provide verification of the former existence of “The Electric Banana”.

Consult your local Wikipedia for information on moshing.

Here is an amazing photograph showing what it looks like when Amy meets Weezer:

Photograph courtesy A. Gruber.

Amy Jane Gruber, front and center at a Weezer show, as seen on the official concert CD:

Photograph courtesy A. Gruber.

Why doesn’t everyone get personal checks like this?

Photograph courtesy A. Gruber.

OK Go’s famous treadmill video for their song “Here It Goes Again”.

OK Go’s confetti really is non-flammable!

Today’s episode features a reheated listener-submitted theme song from friend-of-the-show Theme Song Todd, first used way back in Episode #6, “Shorts Friends”.

Philly cheesesteaks may feature gross “cheese”.

Only Wynn restaurants in Las Vegas (as mentioned in Episode #12 “Never Take the Tunnel”) serve real Kobe beef. They’ve even got a trophy!

It’s a myth that Kobe cows get massages, but this Kobe definitely does.

Sally Struthers for the Christian Children’s Fund.

Victor Kiam liked the Remington shaver so much, he bought the company.

Meanwhile, Sy Sperling was not only the Hair Club president. He was also a client.

Holy crap, gum disease and heart disease are related.

Research shows it’s a near-certainty Amy is going to be murdered.

Microwave Massacre was a real movie.

Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later was also a movie, albeit a mediocre one.

Nightmares Fear Factory provides amazing photographs from their haunted house.

Amy’s crush Johnny Depp contains much more blood than you might expect.

The Philadelphia Phillies earned their 10,000th loss back in 2007. The Braves and Cubs have both since joined them in ignominy.

Zack Hample is a full-grown adult who’s caught thousands of baseballs at games. The number of small children he’s shoved is unknown.

The Phillie Phanatics’ hot dog cannon is a technological marvel.

The C+C Music Factory closed in 1996, but reopened in 2010!

Season two is finally here! Be sure to follow us on Twitter and subscribe via iTunes or RSS.

This episode features a completely original, never-heard-before theme song, provided by an anonymous benefactor.

Amy’s immediate thought upon hearing the word “Aruba”, as well as the music that then played in her head for the remainder of the show. Don’t miss John Stamos on the steel drums!

The truth about sunscreen (it definitely does expire).

People clap for all manner of stupid things.

The United Farm Workers’ Delano grape strike. It’s over, you can have grapes now.

Palapas, Chickees, and other open-air huts.

Larry Bird in shorty shorts, replete with terrible little mustache.

Purchase your very own shorty-shorts swimsuit.

Good legs.

This episode features an appropriately heartrending theme song courtesy of friend-of-the-show Theme Song Todd.

More than you ever wanted to know about drinking straws.

Amy’s straw of choice, IKEA’s Sommarfint.

A completely reliable source from the Internet, verifying that Taco Bell’s “meat” comes from garbage bags:

”Taco Bell does…use the lowest quality of meat possible, which also makes it the most affordable. From the information I found, the beef is shipped to locations in 12×8″ clear plastic bags which come in boxes of roughly 20 bags or so. The meat is pre-cooked, and reheated using boiling water. After it’s heated the bag is split open and the meat is put into large metal containers and scooped out as needed.”

Someone else’s photo of a gum-cuttin‘ Wynn toothbrush. The Internet is amazing!

Image via unseeliequeen.

E-ZPass is an electronic toll-collection system in the Northeastern United States.

The Fracture Photo Swap™ is a joint trademark of Fracture, Inc and Just The Tip Enterprises, LLC. Play it with your friends!

That’s it for season one, but we’ll be back for season two in 2014. To get word of the beginning of season two, be sure to follow us on Twitter or subscribe via iTunes or RSS. Stay tuned!

As usual, this episode features the musical stylings of friend-of-the-show Theme Song Todd.

Pulis are a real thing, even if they don’t look like it:

Photograph via Wikipedia.

Goddamned annoying European Starlings.

Goddamned deadly European Starlings.

This episode features yet more of the musical stylings of friend-of-the-show Theme Song Todd.

Bruce Springsteen’s amazing nipples.

The Sinbad Picture:

David Adkins, AKA Sinbad, has had some tax problems.

The seminal film Houseguest on IMDB, where it features a 5.6 star rating.

”Eat her face, eat her face!”

*Ring-Ring* We have Amy’s mother on the line:

Paul’s current contact photo for Amy:

A bathroom photo; Hand towels:

Celebrity Medley Photo #1:

Fat Elvis

Celebrity Medley Photo #2:

Pete Rose in his underwear.

Celebrity Medley Photo #3:

Fat Johnny Depp, via Jeremy Enke.

Celebrity Medley Photo #4:

Steve Buscemi. We’re sorry, Steve.

Celebrity Medley Photo #5:

Danny Devito’s Ass

Glenn Howerton’s Reddit Ask Me Anything, source of the haunting phrase “Danny Devito’s Actual Asshole”.

The only acceptable swimsuit for Danny Devito.

Danny Devito’s drunken appearance on The View.

Danny Devito’s Limoncello, which he actually apparently started pitching after his drunken appearance on The View.

This episode features still more of the musical stylings of friend-of-the-show Theme Song Todd.

Three of the four Mexican Elvises:

Photograph courtesy A. Gruber.

The fascinating life of Steve Wynn.

Steve Wynn’s forty million dollar elbow.

The official scale of Vegas drunkenness:

• Level 1: Tipsy

• Level 2: Heels in Hand

• Level 3: Wheelchair Wasted

• Level 4: Wheelchair Wasted With A Bag

• Level 5: Stretcher Wasted

• Level 6: Dead

The nightmarish giant goddamned singing frog:

Photograph courtesy P. Kafasis.

A horrifying video of the aforementioned frog in action.